Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship. Any relationship expert, therapist, or matchmaker will tell you that it’s not just normal, but having conflicts is actually healthy for a relationship. However, it can be a significant source of stress, so finding a resolution is important.
Suppressing anger and keeping quiet is not a long-term solution for resolving a conflict. Pent-up anger can only lead to resentment which is not a good thing. Proper conflict resolution involves communication, seeking solutions, and listening – which can lead to healthier relationships over time.
Here are some ways to address conflict with your partner:
Five Tips For Proper Conflict Resolution
Hone Your Listening Skills
How you effectively listen is just as important in how you properly express yourself. It’s important to understand each other’s perspectives rather than just your own. Making your partner feel heard and understood can even go a long way to resolving a conflict.
Good listening skills will help bridge the gap between the two of you and find out where the disconnect lies. Always listen for what is felt and what is said to connect more deeply and let them fully express their thoughts. Actively listening to each other’s fears and feelings will build trust in your relationship.
Get in Touch With Your Feelings
An important part of conflict resolution is knowing how you feel and why you feel that way. Emotional temperature is essential during a negotiation as acting irrationally can make your emotions heat up and boil over.
One way to get in touch with your feelings and expectations is by journaling. It can help you identify what’s causing you stress or anxiety. Once you have identified the stressors, you’ll be able to better communicate your feelings better and resolve your conflicts.
Seek a Solution
Once you understand each other’s perspective, find a resolution to the conflict that both of you can live by. Sometimes the solution you seek can be a simple apology and an open discussion that can help bring both of you together.
For more complicated issues, more work is required. When there’s an issue that you don’t agree on, you can agree to disagree, or compromise and find a middle ground. The most important thing is to come to a place of understanding and work things out.
Get to the Root of the Problem
Sometimes, the root of an argument is that someone’s needs are not being met. When it seems like your partner is troubled with the small stuff, take the time to consider whether there’s a much bigger issue that needs to be solved.
Consider things from your partner’s point of view and figure out how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Always be understanding of your partner instead of attempting to always push your point across.
Not being able to figure out the root of your conflicts will increase the chance that the same problem will just come up in other arguments, and this can create miscommunications in your relationship.
Keep in mind that getting into the root of the problem is the best way to solve it, no matter how hard it can get most of the time.
Maintain Calmness and Respect
Always keep your focus on the issue and avoid crossing lines or insulting your partner. If either of you gets aggressive whenever you have an argument, that’s usually a sign that your relationship may be abusive. No matter what caused the argument, avoid yelling and cursing at each other. You should never feel being attacked when you’re in a good relationship.
One of the most important things couples do when solving conflicts is to sit down and talk while maintaining respect for each other. Listening without interrupting can be challenging at times, but it’s the best way to understand where your partner is coming from and a chance for you to speak and clarify things.
Small adjustments like holding eye contact and making sure you’re focused toward your partner are ways to show that you’re listening, and can help prevent potential huge fights in your relationship.
Even the happiest couple have conflicts, fights, and say things they regret. What differentiates a healthy couple from an unhealthy one is the way they deal with their differences and disagreements.
Constant arguing and overly heated fights can be signs of an unhealthy couple, but there are ways you can do to avoid ruining your relationship. Follow these tips to have a stronger bond that can lead to a healthier relationship, and to ensure that you know how to handle your future conflicts in a constructive way.